THE #1 TRASH-TALKER IS YOU - PT 3


As some of you know I’m an avid sports fan. In watching sports it always intrigues me when athletes start talking trash to each other in the game. 

What typically happens with great competitors in a dual of words is they typically take offense to what has been said and channel it into positive energy that produces a positive performance.

Let’s reread the definition of trash-talk: MerriamWebster Dictionary online says trash-talk is “disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other.”

The latter part of the definition strikes me because it says “the disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments are especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other”.  Trash-talk should be reserved mainly for opponents. Notice I said mainly because I recognize that sometimes friends talk trash to each other meaning no harm. But in the sense that I am discussing trash-talk, it’s negative, destructive, and has consequences that shouldn’t be used against any loved one or self.

Origins of Trash-Talk
There are many things that can be attributed to people developing a destructive ability to speak negatively to themselves. Most negative self-talk is directly rooted in poor, faulty, low self-esteem, and self-worth. Low self-esteem and poor self-worth can be traced to a myriad of bad experiences that formed spiritual and mental dysfunctions even pathologies within a person.

These dysfunctions can be directly linked to people lacking the proper experiences of love, acceptance, and appreciation. Therefore the opposite of the aforementioned things are hatred, rejection, and abuse. When people are unloved, or feel as such, not accepted, or feel as such, and abused, or feel as such, their growth, and development, occurs abnormally.

Our natural physiology is designed to compensate to help us to survive. I’ve heard of blood being rerouted from blockages in the human body by the body itself in an attempt to keep blood flowing and insure its survival. As it is with the body so it is with the mind. We adapt to survive and therefore will adopt ideas and beliefs to help protect ourselves. For example people who’ve been abandoned or rejected may decide that the best way to protect themselves is to adopt an ideology that “I can’t trust nobody but myself or I don’t need anybody”.  They adopt and then adapt to become distrustful and compensate by adopting a philosophy to protect their heart. This example is just a tip of the iceberg.

At some point in time you must realize that the enemy without can’t be conquered until you master the real enemy within. God/Jehovah has never intended for His creation to be unloved and operate with a poor sense of self-love. At some point in time you must return to the source and realize that a key to mastering yourself begins with how you see yourself.

But you can’t really see yourself through tainted lenses and have a proper view. King David saw what God did: Psalms 139:14 “… I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.You’ve been made by the best to be the best and you’ve got to believe this. Next entry I’ve got treasure for your trash-talking!


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THE #1 TRASH-TALKER IS YOU - PT 2

There has been a gross misconception among the ranks of humanity. Things, people, and circumstances don’t determine who you are, YOU DO!

James Allen said “Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot. It rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.” The sacred biblical text of Proverbs 23:7a says “For as he thinketh within himself, so is he…” ASV

Thinking determines being. What we think has a direct impact on our reality whether we accept it or not. God/Jehovah has created us with an ability to impact our world by thinking, imagining, speaking, and doing.  Many people have placed the onus on God/Jehovah to do everything but they don’t realize that He’s delegated autonomy and free will to His creation.

Recently I was advising one of our precious young people who is headed to college next fall. The main thing I wanted her to remember is that life is about choices. When we’re underage a lot of decisions are made for us but as we get older we have more freedom to choose for ourselves.  Life is interminably linked to choices. The importance of the choices we make becomes more increasingly evident as we get older. All choices have consequences connected to them and one choice can make or break you!

I see choices like seeds. Every action whether in thought, word, or deed, is seed sown into the universe. Since we speak and do what we think, mental activity has an impact on what we release into the world. If you think, speak, and do evil, you’ll reap evil. If you think, speak, and do negativity, you’ll reap negativity. If you choose to think, speak, and do wise things, you’ll reap a life of wisdom. I’m still trying to figure out why people think, speak, and do bad things, and expect to get good results. It’s a fool’s error to believe you can do what you want even when it’s wrong and get the right results. Every thought, spoken word, and physical action, is a doorway to positive or negative; good or bad; success or failure.

Your present life is a crystallized manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do. If your marriage is good it’s a manifestation of what you and your spouse think, imagine, speak, and do. If you’re sad it’s a manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do. If you’re challenged financially it’s a manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do. If you’re struggling with addictions it’s a manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do. If you’re unhappy with your life it’s a manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do. If you feel disconnected from God/Jehovah it’s a manifestation of what you think, imagine, speak, and do.

Trash-talkers are; trash-thinkers with a trashy imagination, evidenced by trashy behavior. The center of your finite existence circumvolves around what you think, imagine, speak, and do. Therefore the trash-talker has to change the way he/she think, imagine, speak, and do, before transformation can really take place.  Mastering yourself is a conquest of self which can yield permanent and eternal rewards. But you’ve got to work at changing dangerous and life-condemning thoughts daily. You can’t master your mouth until you master your mind. Next time I’ll discuss some of the internal roots of trash-talking.


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THE #1 TRASH-TALKER IS YOU! - PT 1

Trash talking has been largely attributed to people talking to others. Did you know that the number one target for trash-talking is personal and internal? Yes, people talk more trash to themselves than anybody else.

Let’s first define trash-talking. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary online trash-talk is “disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other.”  The aim of true trash-talk is to boast and intimidate someone. When we engage in friendly or hostile competition we typically brag about our greatness intending to invoke fear, or even insecurity in our opponents.  There’s nothing like good trash-talking to make a game or contest more interesting.

What most of us don’t realize is that we engage ourselves in a similar practice daily. First of all do you realize that it is estimated that we think between 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day? Second did you realize that one study showed that women use around 21,000 words a day and men 7,000? More recent studies actually show it’s close to being around 16,000 a day for both genders with women being slightly ahead.  You can slice this cake one of two ways. Imagine if you thought 50,000 thoughts a day and 10% of your thoughts were negative which would equal 5,000 negative thoughts per day. Or what if you spoke negatively 10% of your 16,000 words a day which would equal 1,600 negative words.

Just by thinking and speaking negatively in the ten percentile range daily would have a great impact on your spirit, mood, self-confidence, self-esteem, and outlook on life. Frankly many people are well above the 10 percentile range daily in thinking and speaking negatively and they are extremely taxed, spiritually, psychologically, and physically, because of thinking and speaking trash to themselves.

Trash-Talking Self
When is the last time you insulted yourself because you forgot something or did something wrong? When is the last time you thought or called yourself stupid? When is the last time you thought or said you weren’t special?  When is the last time you thought or told yourself you’ll always struggle and have little? When is the last time you thought or said nobody really loves me? When is the last time you thought or said you weren’t worthy of certain things you were trying to attain? When is the last time you thought or said you didn’t like the way you looked? When is the last time you thought or said you wanted to just give up and quit because there’s no use in trying? When is the last time you thought or said nobody really loves me? When is the last time you thought or said nobody really appreciates me? When is the last time you thought or said your family would be better off if you were dead?

What we say to ourselves is generally defined in psychology as self-talk. All mature, human beings who are self-aware both think and talk to themselves. While all people think some are more verbal or verbose than others. What you think and speak determines your reality. Proverbs 23:7a For as he thinketh within himself, so is he… ASV. You are where you are right now because of how you think, which determines what you believe, which determines what you speak, which determines what you do.  What have you been thinking and speaking concerning yourself lately?

Next time I’ll discuss the power of your thoughts and how it helps shape your reality.

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