Start Building Your Self-Esteem Pt 2

#2: Deal with Past Experiences
It’s okay to cry and say, “ouch,” when we experience pain; but don’t let pain transform itself into fear. Nothing can torment and discombobulate our lives like fear. We must master fear with faith and believe that we can accomplish anything. And when we fail we chalk it up as a learning experience.

Never allow the pain of your past to be the pain of your present because it will eventually be the pain of your future.  Unresolved issues are controlling issues.  Anything we haven’t resolved in the past still lives with us today.  We must work through our pain, process it, get counseling, prayer, and whatever is necessary because our future is too bright to live in the pain of yesterday. It’s natural to savor the taste of pain longer than pleasant things.  I discovered that in the human mouth there are more taste buds for bitterness than sweet.  The scientific explanation is that most poisonous things are bitter and the taste buds are the first line of defense.  I find that pain and hurt tends to linger and dominate our minds many years longer than sweet memories. I heard a man tell a story years ago of how they tried to build a man.  He said that they put two eyes in front and two eyes in the rear. The single greatest problem that this man had was being able to move forward when he walked.  He couldn’t move forward because he kept looking at what was behind him. Many people have the same problem they can’t go forward because they are still looking backwards.  If you are struggling with the past seek help to move forward from a competent, caring, person because you can’t embrace your future until you release your past.

#3: Challenge the Negative Worldview
Don’t become consumed with all the pessimism, sadness and grief in the world. As we build self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations. Sometimes the lemonade we make from lemons is bitter, but we must learn how to add sugar.  The view of the world we live in is interpreted by us. Our interpretation or the way we think has been influenced by family, friends, or by certain events we have experienced. As a result we have adopted a mindset from our loved ones and mixed it with our thoughts to produce an action. We draw both good and bad from the people who've influenced us the most. The good we glean can give us life but the bad can literally kill us.

How we have come to process life now affects our interpretation of it.  It is when we realize that our interpretation of life is flawed, that we must begin to change.  Don’t allow past failure, hurt, and pain to thrive. Don't allow flawed thinking to thrive. Begin taking control of your life now and dictate how you view the world.  We aren’t born thinking negative, or flawed, something happens during our journey that shapes us. I believe that you reap what you sow, meaning that whatever you give you are bound to receive. If you think negative you will receive negative but if you think positive you’ll receive positive. We must learn to shape our negative thinking with positive, divine, thoughts. Negative people are pessimistic and cynical. Their lives are colored by gloom, apathy, and depression. Everything they do is processed negatively and affects their ability to succeed in life. 

The key to changing the way we look at the world is to first change the way we look at ourselves. How you see yourself is typically how you view the world. Despite the negativity in the world you should believe that you are a powerful, positive force. If your view of yourself and the world is negative it’s time to take charge and start traveling down the road that helps you see yourself as the victor and not the victim. It's hard to win if you see yourself as a loser! Look for part three of this discussion soon.


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Start Building Your Self-Esteem Pt 1

So how do you begin the process of building healthy self-esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may want to consider as a starter guide to self-improvement. Our self-esteem is important because without it we lack confidence.  Our ability to succeed, lead, and help is directly connected to our confidence level.  Confidence is a prime and precious commodity to be treasured when seeking to live life to the fullest and to achieve success.  Many people including leaders have struggled with low self-esteem and it has affected every area of their life. I want to initiate a process today that will help you grow from the inside-out and initiate the formation and emergence of a new more confident you. These introspective nuggets have worked for many and will work for you.

There are six basic nuggets of information that will help jump start your self-esteem. 

#1: Embrace Your Identity
The way you are including your behavioral traits are said to be a mixed product of your inherited traits (genetics), and your environmental surroundings such as your family, spouse, circle of friends, even society. Our environment supplies us with psychological and spiritual conditioning that impacts our view of self and the world. And last but not least good or bad personal experiences and how they've shaped us has a direct impact on who we are. Remember despite these influences, you have your own identity. If your father or mother was a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. You can learn from other people’s experiences, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes you may wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. No! Being positive and staying positive is a choice. Building self-esteem and drawing lines for self-improvement is a choice -- not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you, “Anthony, you may now have the permission to build self-esteem and improve yourself.”  We must make the choice to embrace better and put in the work to build self-love and self-esteem.

In life it can be hard to stay positive, especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. Life is like a battlefield and when we strategize for war we should choose the right ammunition and armor to use. In the battle, we will get shot, and bruised, therefore wearing bulletproof armor ideally means adapting or changing to our war-like environment. It is the kind of change which comes from within and is voluntarily. Choosing to embrace change consciously causes us to address three things: our way of thinking, our attitude and our behavior. We must be willing to look inside ourselves and address our own personal flaws to ensure victory. Whatever our weaknesses and defects we must acknowledge them so that we can implement change. No true change can occur without brutal self-honesty.

Our willingness to embrace a humble view of ourselves is the first step in beginning the self-improvement process. No matter how good or bad you are now right now embrace it, then face it. If we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have, and what we do, it’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from the inside and out. When we develop healthy, self-esteem, we take control of our mission, values, and discipline. Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-improvement. Self-esteem brings about self-improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive, truthful, and appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment yourself and others. Also embrace the spiritual aspect of your existence that is connected to the creator of all things and pursue a relationship with Him. The creator (God) like the manufacturer knows your purpose and He should be both acknowledged and respected in your life. 

Approaching life from a positive angle and perspective affects how you live. And a positive way of living will help you build healthy, self-esteem and start guiding your life to self-improvement. I've got more steps in part two. Don't miss it!

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